Sunday, April 28, 2013

Saying good by

Luca, the dog, and I are having trouble saying good by.  Our house has sold, but we return to the house everyday to work on the computer and spend the day. Then we go to the "hovel" to eat and sleep.  Our current house in comparison to the hovel makes the hovel even more hovel-like.  It isn't that bad, but it is Brutto (ugly) as the Italians say. I chose it because we could stay there for a month and they accepted dogs.  I did not read the advertisement very carefully. It said it had a kitchenette, but did not mention a stove or kitchen sink, neither of which it has.  The Stoic One was stoic and kept saying we will only be here for a month.
Luca has also adjusted better than I and has found a safe place to hang out on the sofa. At least he is no longer hiding underneath things.

So about saying good by.  I went to the dentist yesterday.  She is wonderful and I have been going to her for many years.  She said, I guess this is our last appointment before you retire to Italy, and she started to well up with tears in her eyes.  Oh no, I protested, I am sure I will have some problem with my teeth and need to return. (Let's hope not!)

We signed the final escrow papers today.  Our realtor asked if we had said good by to the house, and I said yes, yes, of course, but in fact I haven't said good by.  I have been very happy here.  I have loved this house with its quirky charms.  It was built in 1906 after the big earthquake.  It has great bones and lovely energy.  I know the new family that comes will be happy here.  They are already friends with our neighbors next door, who say no one could replace us but they are so happy to have someone move in that they like. Ah, displacement.

People continually ask me if I have regrets, remorse? In Italian "Ti sei pentita?"
I don't have regrets or remorse; I have sadness.  I am sad about selling the house, but I know it is the right thing to do. This transition is problematic because we don't have our new house ready to move into, so right now, all I feel is the closing of a book I have really loved, not even a chapter, and I haven't begun my new book yet.

I have always been one to either duck out and not say good by or pretend that I will really see the person again, such as with the dentist.  I was a chaplain at a federal prison for women for 4 years.  It was in fulfillment of a one semester class that I took in seminary, but I couldn't gather the where with all to leave.  My therapist finally told me she was going to walk into the prison with me and tell them I was leaving if I didn't.  It was really, really, hard to leave the women there, but the pain was most acute leading up to the good by.  Once I actually left, I was quite relieved to have my life back, and I presume it will be the same with this move.

Speaking of the move, we still haven't gotten our stuff on the boat.  Sigh.... We need to show residency documents.  So I finally realized that even though I got my Italian citizenship, I got it in Vigo di Cadore. I now live in California (note I have never lived in Vigo but this is irrelevant.) So Vigo had to send me a stamped form saying I was an Italian citizen living abroad.  It arrived in the mail this week.  I think this is a good step.  Now all we need is the application for residency but since I am still in can see the complications. Monday we go back to the consulate to see what can be done.  Keep your fingers crossed for me.

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