Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Umbertide and adjustment disorders

We are finally in Italy.  No more travel for a while except for a local trips, at least that is the current plan.

We had a lovely dinner in the dining room.   My friend Adelle says that you are not really moved into your new house until you have people over for dinner.  I guess we are now officially moved in.

Luca is with us and is now and has become one of the sights that you will see when you walk around Umbertide.

We are adjusting.  The lack of structure and patterns of our day has bothered the Stoic One.  I knew he was a bit over the edge when he started complaining about my recycling habits. In all fairness to me, it is not as easy as you would think.  There are 4 types of recycle according to the Stoic One:

One can is for aluminum, glass and plastic.  The next can is for paper.  The next can is for food and coffee grinds and dead plants the next can is for trash.  I had to label the cans to prevent another major argument.  I am somehow sure we are the ONLY couple in Umbertide that is sorting the trash to this level of detail. Sigh...Gina would be proud of us.

The next day he complained about where I put the electric tooth brush. (I am not even kidding here.) He said it reminded him of when we were first married and I didn't put things where they were "supposed" to be.  It has only been 27 years, so I said, what really is going on and he said, I feel totally out of control and I said, "Hello, we are in Italy."Aware that I was feeling a stronger desire to bop him on the head with my broom, I realized we were both having adjustment disorders! The Stoic One has known for years that it is impossible to try to control my behavior.  I know this about him as well, but we were both in a critical state of mind, of "why don't you...." that newly wed couples go through.  I had had major feelings of restlessness and anxiety.  It isn't a feeling of OMG did we make a mistake, but more, what should I be doing now?  Whatever I am doing, it seems like I should be doing something else.

 Moving to Italy is kind of like working in a start up except I'm not working, I'm living with the Stoci One and Luca; however just as in a start up, we have to figure out everything for the first time.  Simple things....what do we do for breakfast? When do we eat breakfast?  What to have for lunch? What about dinner?  What about all of the things in between? Even with our food obsession, which luckily is shared by every Italian we know, we need to think about our time and what we do.  For the Stoic One, this feels like a lack of control.  For me, it feels like I may be making the wrong choices, establishing the wrong patterns!.  Ugh.

On the positive front, our sofa arrived and it looks beautiful.

I also got flowers to put out on the terrace, realizing that I would be here long enough to enjoy them.


  1. Susan,

    Luca's face says it all "Where the heck am I?" He is so cute. Best of Luck "finding yourselves" through your adjustment phase.


  2. Thank you Melanie. Piano, piano, as they say.