Cross Country Adventures A to L

We are finally beginning the last stage of our trip.  It still does not seem real.  It seems more like we are on an extended vacation for the rest of our lives.  We spent several days with our good friends Dorothee and Mike and their new, fantastic home in Palm Desert. It was the final goodbye to our California friends.

We are still saying goodbye to places. We said goodbye to the Pacific ocean, beautiful but I never swam in it. Too cold. We said goodbye to the state of California as we drove over the border and into Arizona.  That was more difficult.  The Stoic One has lived in California all of his life.  Born in Los Angeles and even did his military service in California.  He is sad to leave his brother and family but ready to move on. A native Californian leaving his birth place, but he is, well, stoic about it.

For me California has been the golden state of dreams, aspirations, opportunities and good fortune.  Coming from Michigan and then Tennessee, when I arrived in California, I swore I would never leave the state. I have felt at home here. I felt understood here. My work has been here, and the majority of my friends are here. The state is beautiful with the mountains, deserts, ocean all within driving distance. So when we crossed that line and the Stoic One said, "Say good by to California" it was saying good by to many things. I think mainly I was saying goodbye to my youth; those yearnings for freedom and success that once attained seem to vanish into the dark recesses of my memory. Odd how the yearnings diminish with age; at least for me.

I go to Italy full of curiosity. I really want to speak Italian well, but that is a goal, not a yearning. By working hard, and having great luck, the Stoic One and I have a sense of financial freedom in retirement.  We know we are lucky, and we do not have unlimited resources, so we know we must also learn to live like the Italians, not the Americans. Be happy with what we have.  Enjoy the things of life that don't cost money. Find motivation in living that does not begin with making and spending money.  This will be a challenge.

So here we are on the beginning of our journey across this huge country. We are in Tuscon, Arizona.  If you have never been to the Sonoran desert, it is worth the trip.  The cacti are fascinating.

This is the state "flower" of Arizona.  They can live 200 years and can grow up to 10 tons during its lifetime.  Can you imagine?  It grows only about 3 inches a year (unless some fool is watering it all of the time.) It can also store up to 2000 pounds of water, in case you wondered how the native people lived out here. In June this sucker blooms for ONE DAY ONLY. Needless to say we don't have those pictures. Between 50 and 75 years, a limb will appear.  This cactus is very old and treasured. It only grows in the Sonoran desert in the US and Mexico.

Blooming prickly pears. The Stoic One often refers to me as "prickly" mainly when I get too hot.  Now I really know what prickly means!

Italian Struggles

So there are actually four of us on this Italian journey of retirement.  The Stoic One, me, Joseph and Paul. After we bought our apartment in Umbertide, Joseph and Paul said it was their retirement dream to live in Italy too, and so they decided to buy an apartment and retire to Umbertide.  Each of us is having our own Italian retirement adjustment experience.

The four of us can all blame or credit this couple.

This is Edward, Lorraine and you know who. Several years ago, Lorraine told me she was looking at property in Italy to buy.  I said you're crazy, property in Italy is too expensive.  She said no, it isn't you just have to know where to look.  Then she told me one of her friends was applying for Italian citizenship, and the rest, as they say, is history.

So Lorraine and Edward were here over the week end to say good by.  We were both sad and nostalgic remembering the time we had worked together many years ago. We have been friends for 30 years. I told her it was her fault that I was moving to Italy.  She said, I never thought you would actually DO THIS.  Sigh.  So I am here in Ventura by myself with Mr. Luca. My adjustment continues to be learning patience and waiting.

In the meantime, the Stoic One is in Italy unloading our things.  First, the shocking news.  The delivery was supposed to happen at 8:30 Monday morning, and at 8:30 the semi truck showed up in the Piazza! The actual delivery is an epic story that needs a video.  Suffice it to say, everything arrived safely, and the Stoic one is busy unpacking.

Joseph is right, the room is now too crowded. Those yellow chairs are going to have to go into the living room.  The TV does not look as bad as I thought it would.  It doesn't look as big, thank god! Once we put the yellow chairs in the living room and put down a rug and buy some lamps, this room will be done!  That's one.

My sister will be happy to know that her bedroom furniture showed up in one piece.

It fits.  Hurrah!

So the four of us are having different journeys.  Paul is back in the US doing work.  He is a vet in San Francisco, and decided to come back for the month of August to work.  He wishes he were back in Italy. He has adjusted well to living in Italy, although is frustrated by the normal things.  He is from Michigan, like me and talks to everyone and has made many friends.  His interactions have been limited by his lack of language.  His Italian is slowly improving and he really wants to learn to speak it well. The language is Paul's struggle.

Joseph is missing me and Paul. He gets very frustrated with the "over promise under deliver" Italian style, but is working on acceptance. He keeps thinking that if he reiterates his expectations that will effect the outcome.  Needless to say.....Acceptance is still off in the future. It is his struggle.

I am still waiting for Oct. 1 to get there but trying to live in the moment and enjoy my time here. I have always been future oriented so it is so hard for me to be in this present moment.  I know that Italy will teach me that but it is VERY hard for me.  Being Here Now, as Ram Dass said, is my struggle.

The Stoic one is in Italy working his ass off unpacking. He is working on his Italian but doesn't seem to frustrated with himself.  He has always been in the moment and accepting.  I really don't know what his struggle is... Maybe the 3 of us?

A new house, not my home

So I am now in Ventura, California.  My sister lived here years ago when she ran away from home.  I don't think the town has changed much in the last 30 years.
http://www.ventura-usa.com

We are here for two reasons, one to visit our family, including our sweet niece Elizabeth and her new baby, and two because I love the ocean. We are driving distance to both of those things.

This is Elizabeth and baby Maxwell. She is the calmest mother I have ever been around.  Do you think she gets that from her uncle The Stoic Once?  Here he is with her oldest son, Jackson.

Jackson looks a little worried but then he always looks a little worried.  The Stoic One looks like himself. Jackson will be two in November.  Maxwell is 6 weeks old....mamma mia...Did I say she was calm?  The father is a nervous wreck.  He says he has nightmares about Jackson falling off the pier. He wondered what his dream meant.  I responded, "You're worried about Jackson falling off the pier."  I can be profound when provoked.

Here is our sweet Mr. Luca....I must say he was not thrilled with the invasion of the little ones. Jackson loved Mr. Luca, Luca, not so much.  The father asked if there any way in the world that dog would bite my son.  "unlikely" I responded, and we both moved Jackson and the dog from one another.

 I think Luca wonders where his beer is.

We are staying in a truly American style home.  It is made totally of wood, and hand made by the owner.  It is in the shape of a hexagon.  I am sure this has geometrical significance to the builder.  It makes for interesting spaces and play of light.  We have a lovely view of the ocean and a very nice kitchen. The house is like Frank Lloyd Wright in the early days.  More emphasis on interest than comfort.  We have a bean bag to watch TV.  They still make those things, and the Stoic One and I can still get into it and more importantly out of it. The beds are home made and extremely comfortable. Not many doors in the house....closets have curtains which also reminds me of Italy.  

Mr. Luca is indifferent to the architectural beauty.  He has located his food dish and the little ones have left so he is relaxed again.

The door to this house, like Italian doors in Italy, is a thing of wonder.  I can not imagine this being anywhere but California in the 1970's. It is hard to tell but that is a spiral stained glass door. you can see the reflection in the floor.

And thus concludes another episode in "How to say Farewell".

Oh, the Stoic One broke his tooth, so we discovered a new dentist in this town.  We now have dentists in every town we have visited.  Do you think teeth breaking is part of stress?

How to become homeless when moving to Italy

My being homeless has all been caused by Luca, a small, 18 pound neurotic but happy little dog.

(Lovely photo by Barbara Hurtig)

Don't let that sweet face fool you. Although he is happy, the neurotic part makes him a little jittery. After reading about transporting dogs on airplanes, I decided that he could not make a 15 hour flight (from San Francisco to Rome) and we couldn't leave him in the US...so....we are taking him on the Queen Mary 2.  In 2012 we started making reservations for the trip, but the first date we could get passage for Luca was Sept. 22, 2013! I couldn't believe it.  There was plenty of room for humans, but they only have 12 kennels on board. The dogs or cats are kept on a special deck where they can be visited, but they are not allowed out of their area.  Fine with me.  The kennel master looks after them, feeds them, plays with them etc. We booked for September and thought we would back into that date.

 There are some of you that have asked questions about the Queen Mary trip. Here is some basic info.The "crossing" takes 6 nights and 7 days. We leave out of New York and will arrive in Southampton, England. We will then be picked up by a minivan and taken to Heathrow where we will board a plane and fly to Rome.  Luca will be picked up by a pet transporter and driven to Italy.  You can see this takes a lot more organizational skills than I have.

So how did we become homeless? We decided to put our house up for sale in June, which would have given us time to sell it, pack and move by September. A reasonable plan.  As luck would have it, our realtor had other plans.  She convinced us to list the house in April because there was no inventory. She said we would get multiple offers, which we did, and that we would sell it fast.  She was right, it sold in 14 days!

The man who bought it wanted a fast escrow, and we agreed.  Leaning heavily upon our neighbors, Mark and Gina, we emptied our house, sorted through years of accumulation, got our things moved out and then we were ready.  May 1 we were homeless.  That's right. The house was gone.  We had 2 apartments in italy that we couldn't live in because we couldn't take you know who!

 We have been homeless now for 90 days.  It has some advantages.  People ask me my address, but I DON"T HAVE ONE.  The P.O. box will be ended shortly. We have an address in Italy, but we aren't there yet.  Email and cell phones are the only way to find us.  For our younger friends no problem.  For my kookie sister Sarah, not so much.  She has called every phone number I have had for the past 10 years.  Sigh.

Although we don't own a home, we decided to try to treat this like a vacation and rent homes along the way. We currently are in a home in Sonoma, but we will pack out of here the end of July.  We then move to Ventura to a house we rented. We leave that and go....oh, never mind.  I will fill you in as we go along.  Just know that if I seem more disorganized than usual, I have a reason.

Happiness!!!!

The Stoic One and I are so lucky.  We have the most fantastic friends.  Two of them, Joseph and Paul, are already living in Umbertide, waiting patiently for us to arrive.
In the mean time, Joseph, who is the best designer ever,  has been working on our apartment trying to get it together.
Here are photos of the family room. We are looking for rugs and then the room will be pretty much complete.  Hurray!

More photos

The living room still needs some work, but the book shelf got moved from the little apartment to the new one!

The weird thing about the book shelf is that it looks bigger in the big apartment...it's about the height of the ceiling so they say, although it doesn't make much sense to me.

Anyway, things are moving along in Italy.  Our household goods are now on a ship, god knows where, making its way across the ocean.

We are getting closer.....

Caffe Centrale, Umbertide

Our town has 2 bars in the piazza.  Bars in Italy are really like Caffes.  Anyway, we have a Bar Mary and Caffe' Centrale.

When the owner of the bar, Clementina, found our we were leaving on Friday, she asked us if we would come to dinner at the Caffe'.  Generally they only serve drinks and ice cream, but Clementina is trying to change things. The mother of one of the wait staff is a wonderful cook and has been cooking some things for the bar.

Anyway, we said yes we would love to have our last night there.  Now enters another misunderstanding.  We thought Clementina would join us for dinner, and we would pay for our meal.  Neither was true.  We had a wonderful home cooked meal, in the back of the restaurant, and Clementina waited on customers in the front.  When we went to pay, she said, no she wanted to pay for our last meal there.  What a sweet heart!

Here she is.

She is crocheting a bedspread when no one is in the bar!

If ever you are in Umbertide, please stop by and greet Clementina and have a toast to the Americans!

Passaggiata

In our little town of Umbertide, the passaggiata, is a very calm, sedate affair.  People come home from work, the old men are sitting at their tables playing cards, and the younger people walk around the piazza with their baby strollers or boyfriends and girlfriends and greet one another.  In southern Italy things are more, how should I say, fluid.

Everyone is out.  There is no general direction people walk in.  They go diagonally across the piazza, counter clock wise, clock wise, it is general chaos.  Still it is one of the greatest pleasures in Italy to sit, have an appertivo, and watch the show.   I love watching the parents and little kids.

This little girl with her back to you was quite a character.  The kids were looking into a big metal egg that had an opening at their eye level.  The little girl wanted her turn next, so she pushed the little boy away.  This was the mother's reaction.

The right hand is gesturing up and down, in "What the heck is wrong with you?"  The other kids knew she was in trouble.  Look at their faces. Love the American flag on the little boy.

This is our friend Ben's favorite shoe look.  Mr. Red Shoes.

Market day is the same, no matter where you go in Italy.  Everyone turns out.

Italian style in the market place.  Love the fringe at the bottom of her dress.  He must think he's a Hollywood mogul, no socks, sun glasses, white shorts.....

Yellow dog, yellow outfit.  He looks grumpy.  Probably waiting for his wife who is late.

Little girls practicing to be big girls.

For those Soprano fans, it is Carmella in the original!

Remember we are in Southern Italy.  These guys are either bankers or...

How else to end but with a large bowl of Tiramisu!