Sunday, June 26, 2011

Rainbows and Transitions

I have been in Hawaii for the past week for work.  I have been working as an executive coach for the past 10 years.  As I move to Italy this is the work from which I will retire.  It has not been an easy transition for me.  I have worked most of my life.  My work has provided me with a sense of accomplishment, satisfaction, and has been financially rewarding and yet....

While I was in Hawaii, I had a dream that The Stoic One and I were on a boat and the boat couldn't quite make it to the dock.  He stepped from the boat to the dock easily, in one stride.  I was afraid that I couldn't make it, so I took a running leap, my coat filled up with air (probably hot air) and I was blown into the water and the muck of things close to the dock.  I looked up to where I had been and I realized the boat was huge, like a steamship not the little ferry I thought I was on.  It felt hopeless.  Suddenly I was pulled from the muck and shown a video of my mistake.  It was only one step to cross over. It was the preparation and running that had gotten me in trouble.  It doesn't take Freud to analyze this dream.

While I was in Hawaii The Stoic One was at a funeral for one of our best friends.  He was someone that I loved and brought great joy to my life.  In addition one of my dearest mentors resigned from his position, after many years, as a protest and an act of integrity.  These things have made me be reflective about my life, my contributions, my sense of legacy, the things that are still undone.  There is a book that is half written that calls to me to finish, and there is a life above the Piazza that I am hoping will be just one single step to get there.

Next week I will be 65.  It sounds so old to me, but inside it doesn't feel old.  The Italians often refer to this time as "the third stage."  I have heard these years described as the "go-go" years the "slow-go" years and the "no-go" years.  I guess I am entering my "go-go" years, and luckily I know where I am going.  We will be back in the Piazza in September.

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