Here is a cast of characters you need to keep in mind. Stoic Onc= Gary, Mani= geometra=general contractor, Giuseppe= cabinet maker, Tiziano= furniture guy who sells kitchens, Simone= the Milanese guy who speaks great English having graduated from San Luis Obispo with a degree in agricultural management.
So the Milanese calls this morning and sounds very sick. He tells us that because of the torrential rain last night, the water caused a mud slide that went through his fence and then his sheep escaped and then he had to go and fetch them all during a downpour and then he got sick with a cold. He never gets sick when his clients are in town and he is oh so sorry but we will have to go and sign the contract without him. It is not so very important, something we could do 2 years from now, but maybe we should do it now. "What contract, " I ask innocently. "The one to buy your apartment. Gary said he wanted paper work showing that you own the apartment and so there is some additional paper work that needs to be signed and documented." Ok. So the Milanese says just go over to Mani's by yourself, if there is something that you don't understand, just make a note and we will talk later."With that he said he had to have some hot, organic lemon tea and go to bed.
So Stoic One, do you know anything about signing a contract today? No? What did you think we were doing at the meeting? Unsure. Okay we walked over to Mani's apartment, through the Piazza, across the road, across the railroad track and down into Piazza San Francisco. According to Mani, his Piazza is the most important Piazza because it has 3 churches whereas out Piazza only has one. Whatever. So we go to see Mani, he has my comforters, and sheets, happily he has not sold them and we sit down for a talk. It is all very confusing but some paper has to go to Perugia and then has to come back to our Commune so that the official people can say that our apartment is now "habitable" which means that we can live here and pay tax. Joy. So I tell Mani about the scorpion and he says,"What good luck, you are living in the middle of the city but it is like living in the country. My wife Barbara calls me when there is a scorpion in the vasca (bathtub) and I tell her turn on the water and it will go down the drain." ok. Then I relate the story about the pigeon in the bathroom. "But, how did the pigeon get in the bathroom?" "Through the open window, " I respond. "Well then it went out the window didn't it?" Gary smiles and says yes the bird flew back out the window. I say, we need screens. We all nod..this means nothing will happen.
I also mentioned to Mani that we had no mirrors in the house which made it difficult for me to put on my trucco (make up) and for Gary to shave. He looks at Gary who does look a little scruffy and says, yes we need to get mirrors. We will make an appointment this afternoon. This clearly will happen.